There are three essentials for consumption at a Super Bowl party: wings, beer and chips. Sure, there are other possibilities – salsa, soda, annoying fans who whine about every penalty called or not called in the game, women who ask “what’s that?” on 66.6 (repeating of course) percent of the plays – but without wings, beer and chips, there is essentially no point to having a Super Bowl party. But I would like to propose something that, in a perfect world, would be a fourth essential – chicken wing dip. It places the flavor of wings into a dish to be scooped out with chips, while you can drink beer. If there is a downside to this masterful concoction, I have yet to find it.
The masterful version of chicken wing dip I have discovered comes from Veronica Ripson, someone who I am currently listed as “In A Relationship” with on Facebook.
I would approach this handing out of the recipe with some trepidation, as it is not my intellectual property. However, Veronica has told me, and giving me the chance to make something with an oven involved as such a horrid idea that this can’t be any worse. I’d say I fall roughly in the following position on the fire hazard scale, from “least likely to start a fire” to “GET DOWN! GET DOWN NOW!”…
– My mom
– Guy Fieri
– A blind person
– Ryan from “The Office”
– Swedish Chef
But even I have been unable to mess up the sensation that is chicken wing dip. You literally need four ingredients – just four – for this delectable delight: chicken breasts, cheese, hot sauce, and cream cheese. And I will even tell you how to make it, despite cooking knowledge that barely surpasses “hit the popcorn button on the microwave.”
Step One: Boil the chicken. I suppose the real step one is boil water, or put water in a pan, or get a pan out. But let’s assume you have an IQ over 12.
Step Two: Pick apart the chicken into tiny little pieces. If you think you’ve made the pieces small enough, you haven’t. Spoiler alert.
Step Three: Throw the cheese, cream cheese, hot sauce and chicken pieces into a bowl and stir them together. This is basically a giant glop of nonsense, and the reason for the word “glop.” However, it still tastes kinda good at this point.
Step Four: Put it on a baking sheet and throw it in the oven. (Why do people say that, by the way? Has anyone actually thrown something into the oven? Do I want to continue on this subject? No, right? No.)
Step Five: Call Veronica with the assumption that I have forgotten a step. Really, this seems like the simplest thing in the world. I must have screwed up something here along the way.
Step Six: OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM.
This chicken wing dip is bound to be a huge hit at your Super Bowl party. All you need to buy are the four ingredients above and tortilla chips, which should cost you somewhere in the neighborhood of twenty dollars. And at the risk of this turning into a Julia Childs blog, I am going to stop now. Eat it. It is real. And it is spectacular.
(Why not an A+? The only downside – you will want to pass out immediately after.)