Review: Leap Years

I’m mixed on whether or not I enjoy the idea of leap years, and honestly, I have no idea of where I’m actually going to go with this post.  So I’m going to talk this one out right here on the blog, with a little pro/con nonsense.  Without further adieu, the best and worst things about having a “February 29″…

Pros

1. It almost feels secretive to get to February 29, since it only comes once every four years.  It’s like finding a hidden level after you beat Super Mario 64, except if that hidden level only appeared once out of every four times you completed the game.

2. It’s a longer year.  More time to do stuff.  For instance, think about all the Super Mario 64 you could play on February 29.

Want some, Koopa?  GET SOME!

3. Whoever designed the calendar was a moron.  Why give one month TWO days less than any other month?  Giving February a 29th day at least remedies some of that.  I’m going to blame whoever put six teams in the NL Central and four in the AL West for this.

4. In Britain and Ireland, it is apparently a tradition that women may propose marriage only on leap years.  This makes life so much easier for a guy afraid of commitment.  Do the whole “maybe I want to date you not maybe not” thing until New Year’s right as a leap year is about to end…and then ask her out at the stroke of midnight!  You get three free years without having to worry about marriage! What a spectacular idea.

Cons

1. If you’re a salaried employee, you now have to work an extra day out of the year while making the same amount of money.  (Not that I would know, of course, since I don’t have a baseline salary.)

2. Why can’t all the years be consistent?  It’s like having the DH in the American League and not in the National League.  Just bite the bullet and make every year a certain amount of days long, and if the months get all screwy after a while then that’s just part of the fun.

3. It inspired this horrible-looking crap: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leap_Year_(2010_film)

I love you, Amy, but I don’t think even you could have saved this.

4. Remember that song about the months that you used to sing as a kid?

“30 days hath September,

April, June and November.

All the rest have 31,

Except for February, which has 28 and sometimes 29, and ruins an otherwise really promising rhyme scheme, and holy crap does this thing ever end?”

5. Maybe I’m just biased because I hate odd numbers, but isn’t 29 such an ugly-looking number?  It’s a prime number, the best athlete ever to wear it was Rod Carew, its Wikipedia page isn’t even long enough to go beyond five full hits of the “Page Down” key…what good does the number 29 bring to this Earth?  Let’s just skip it and go directly from 28 to 30.

Based on that headband, maybe Rod Carew deserves more credit.

6. What good things have ever happened on February 29?  And for that matter, who has a famous birthday on February 29?  I barely knew anyone listed on February 29, at least according to Wikipedia, although the American burlesque performer “Tempest Storm” certainly stood out.

(No, I am not including a picture.  Google it yourself, you sick people.)

7. February is always cold.  It’s a dumping ground for horrible movies.  It generally features the end of football in a given season.  Why do we want to extend this month, exactly?

——

In conclusion: leap years should be disbanded.  It would be a blast 50 years from now to have the seasons all screwed up because we took out the extra day every four years.  In fact, I say we just throw all the months in a hat at the beginning of the year and put them in a random order.  Maybe then, I’ll finally get a summer birthday.  And imagine if December was the first month selected?  We’d have Christmas in back-to-back months!  The possibilities are endless here.  I think I’m on to something.

Hell, this could become a reality.

Oh, right, the grade…

Grade: C-

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2 responses to “Review: Leap Years

  1. Some famous people born on Leap Day:
    – Dennis Farina, the manager of the Twins in “Little Big League”, also star of Law & Order;
    – Antonio Sabato Jr, who used to be one of the hunks my sister would drool after, back in the days where she watched a lot of daytime soaps;
    – Ja Rule, who’s a rapper, I guess.

    Also little known fact about Leap Years: years that are evenly divisible by 100 but not by 400 do not contain a leap day, such as 1900, 2100, 2200, or 2300. How about that little nugget of info!

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