2013 Movie Preview: Part Two

Yesterday on the blog, we covered the upcoming films slated for January, February and March.  Time to leave the dumping ground.  Here’s a look at April, May and June, where movies that actually look entertaining will be released…


The Heat (April 5)
Premise: Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy team up in a female buddy-cop movie.  One’s a no-nonsense FBI agent.  One’s a loose cannon.  Together – they must FIGHT THE SYSTEM AND TAKE DOWN A RUSSIAN MOBSTER!
Why It Could Work: Paul Feig (Bridesmaids) directs, and the two leads are a couple of very likeable actresses.
Why It Could Bomb: I laughed once at this trailer – when Buster from Arrested Development showed up on screen.  Not for a funny line or anything like that, just because he’s Buster.
Rotten Tomatoes Prediction: 32%

42 (April 12)
Premise: A biopic about Jackie Robinson, played by relative newcomer Chadwick Boseman.  Harrison Ford plays legendary Dodgers executive Branch Rickey.
Why It Could Work: Brian Helgeland – the guy who wrote L.A. Confidential and Mystic River – is directing.
Why It Could Bomb: Brian Helgeland – the guy who wrote The Postman, Man on Fire and The Vampire’s Assistant – is directing.
RT Prediction: 42% (Heh.)

Oblivion (April 12)
Premise: Tom Cruise is a drone repairman, alone on Earth in the year 2073.  So, basically, Tom Cruise is WALL-E.
Why It Could Work: Looks like fun and visually entertaining sci-fi…Morgan Freeman wears sunglasses inside and leads a resistance of some sort…Cruise wears a Yankees hat.
Why It Could Bomb: Director Joseph Kosinski has a grand total of one previous credit – Tron: Legacy (51% on RT).
RT Prediction: 60%

Pain and Gain (April 26)
Premise: Based on a true story, a pair of bodybuilders (Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne Johnson) become involved in a kidnapping plot that goes horribly wrong.
Why It Could Work: An intriguing premise…a pair of supremely entertaining leads…Ed Freaking Harris (!)…what could go wrong?
RT Prediction: 40%

This is a pretty freaking great poster, though.

Iron Man 3 (May 3)
Premise: Robert Downey, Jr. makes a bunch of quips, wears a bunch of iron and kicks a bunch of ass.  Ben Kingsley stars as the villainous Mandarin (awesome) alongside newcomers Rebecca Hall (awesomer) and Guy Pearce (awesomest).  Gwyneth Paltrow and Not-Terrence-Howard (Don Cheadle) return.
Why It Could Work: The teaser trailer is phenomenal…the series gets a new writer/director in Shane Black, who previously teamed with Downey on the terrific Kiss Kiss Bang Bang…it looks seriously dark…the cast is amazing.
Why It Could Bomb: Iron Man 2 was a mess…how many good third movies are there in a franchise?…what the hell accent is Ben Kingsley using?
RT Prediction: 85% (Who am I kidding, this is going to be awesome.)

The Great Gatsby (May 10)
Premise: You know that book you read in high school about the rich guy?  Yeah, Leonardo DiCaprio’s in it now.  (Tobey Maguire, Carey Mulligan, Joel Edgerton, Isla Fisher and Jason Clarke, too.)
Why It Could Work: DiCaprio…DiCaprio…Carey Mulligan is amazing…DiCaprio…the rest of the cast…DiCaprio…it’s The Great ****ing Gatsby, for goodness’ sake…DiCaprio.
Why It Could Bomb: Baz Luhrmann directs his first movie after Australia, which nobody saw or liked…it looks like an overwhelmingly weird visual movie…why was it delayed from Christmas?…Tobey Maguire.
RT Prediction: 63%

Star Trek into Darkness (May 17)
Premise: The sequel to J.J. Abrams’ phenomenally fun 2009 movie, with Benedict Cumberbatch (a.k.a. the British Ryan Gosling) as the villain.
Why It Could Bomb: It looks like it’s basically just The Dark Knight (not necessarily a bad thing, of course)…no part of the trailer seems to actually take place in space…what a stupid title.
RT Prediction: 81%


Fast Six (May 24)
Premise: Vin Diesel and friends go fast in cars.  For the sixth time.
Why It Could Work: Everybody seemed to like Fast Five…Gina Carano joins the cast for some more ass-kicking goodness…Dwayne Johnson (man, this guy’s everywhere!)
Why It Could Bomb: Um, we’re still talking about the Fast and the Furious franchise here.
RT Prediction: 50%

The Hangover Part III (May 24)
Premise: You saw the first two, right?
Why It Could Work: The script is apparently not going to be the same exact thing as the first two movies, and Part III is supposedly the darkest of the “trilogy”…the original Hangover is phenomenal…John Goodman is the villain…everyone might die, for all we know.
Why It Could Bomb: Feel free to refer to The Hangover Part II for more on this possibility.
RT Prediction: 70% (Call me weirdly optimistic.)

After Earth (June 7)
Premise: Will Smith and his son are alone on Earth, 1,000 years after some cataclysmic stuff blew up everybody else.
Why It Could Work: Will Smith…?
Why It Could Bomb: M. Night Shyamalan is directing.  This section is now complete.
RT Prediction: 21%

And the movie didn’t even get first dibs on its not-original-in-the-first-place poster design among “2013 sci-fi movies starring Scientologists”.

The Internship (June 7)
Premise: Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn are old people that take internships.  Yep, this is right in their wheelhouse.
Why It Could Work: It’s the first time Wilson and Vaughn have teamed up since Wedding Crashers, one of the greatest comedies of my generation (seriously)…the cast features John Goodman (again), Rose Byrne, (2012 Brownie Award winner for Bridesmaids) and a cameo from Will Ferrell.
Why It Could Bomb: Directed by Shawn Levy.
RT Prediction: 36%

Now You See Me (June 7)
Premise: Magicians rob a bank on another continent, expose a criminal and give his money to their audience, and do awesome magic stuff.
Why It Could Work: Mark Zuckerberg (Jesse Eisenberg)!  The Stage V Clinger from Wedding Crashers (Isla Fisher)!  James Franco’s brother (Dave)!  The New Hulk (Mark Ruffalo)!  The French girl from Inglourious Basterds (Melanie Laurent)!  Woody Bleeping Harrelson!  Morgan Bleeping Freeman!  Potentially Villainous Michael Caine!  Magic!
Why It Could Bomb: OK, I know this is an awesome premise, but how is the script going to possibly make this believable?…Louis Letterrier’s last directorial credit was Clash of the Titans.
RT Prediction: 66%

Man of Steel (June 14)
Premise: Superman Begins.
Why It Could Work: This is probably the best trailer I’ve seen since the trailer for The Dark Knight Rises…Christopher Nolan is heavily involved as a producer…Amy Adams is Lois Lane…Michael Shannon is the villain…Toby from The West Wing is alive!
Why It Could Bomb: Just because the trailer for The Dark Knight Rises was awesome didn’t mean the movie was good…Zack Snyder is directing, fresh off of Sucker Punch…read that last sentence again.
RT Prediction: 80% (Yes, I’m aware this is overly optimistic.)

This Is the End (June 14)
Premise: James Franco, Jonah Hill, Seth Rogen, Jay Baruchel, Danny McBride and Craig Robinson play themselves and face the apocalypse.  With Michael Cera and Emma Watson.
Why It Could Work: I don’t care how bad this movie is in reality – it will be the funniest thing I see all year.  Let’s be honest – I liked Your Highness.  There is no chance in hell I don’t like this.
Why It Could Bomb: …granted, it will probably be pretty stupid.
RT Prediction: 45% (Who cares, though?)

Seriously, this is going to be my favorite movie of the year.

Monsters University (June 21)
Premise: A prequel to Monsters, Inc., 13 years later.  (Really, a prequel?)
Why It Could Work: Pixar.
Why It Could Bomb: Pixar’s last “quel”.
RT Prediction: 75%

World War Z (June 21)
Premise: Brad Pitt vs. zombies.  Hooray.  More zombies.  Note my enthusiasm.  Woo.
Why It Could Work: Brad Pitt?…people love the book.
Why It Could Bomb: The movie is apparently way more action-heavy than the book…the CGI looks cartoonish…tons of reshoots and rewrites…Pitt and director Marc Forster apparently stopped speaking to each other.
RT Prediction: 54%

Kick-Ass 2 (June 28)
Premise: More Ass is Kicked.
Why It Could Work: The first movie was actually a bunch of fun…Jim Carrey is in this, which is pretty awesome…Aaron Johnson now has a hyphen in his last name (Taylor-Johnson).
Why It Could Bomb: Did anybody really want a sequel?…what was the last good movie Jim Carrey was in?…he got a hyphen because he’s 22 and married a 45-year old.
RT Prediction: 40%

White House Down (June 28)
Premise: The other movie where a Secret Service agent (Channing Tatum) has to rescue the President (Jamie Foxx).
Why It Could Work: 2012 was the year of the Tatum…Jamie Foxx as the POTUS…Sony Pictures must have loved the script, because they bought it for $3 million, which is obscene.
Why It Could Bomb: Roland Emmerich has directed both 10,000 B.C. and 2012 in the past five years.
RT Prediction: 65% (And I have no idea why.)

Whoops, sorry, that must be a still from “Magic Mike II”.


Tomorrow: July through September, featuring even more sequels!


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